Resource List

Resources Mandala

This mandala represents the reaching out to find new insights. The boxes represent new thinking and the hearts represent desire for change. Green is symbolic of hope, growth, and healing and yellow is symbolic of courage and enthusiasm to learn.

Resources to Support and Maintain Change

As you move toward learning the ins and outs of letting go of blank spots, you could find yourself wondering what type of resources are out there that you can find to support your growth. That inner detective of your starts wanting to go explore. To help you I’ve created this chapter. What you will find is a list of resources with a few of my personal observations related to them. These resources support any goal you have as well as maintain your success once you reach that goal.

One caution. There are many perspectives in this world. Those perspectives work for some but not others. Move through the list until you find the resources that go pop for you, then give them a try. Let the others go.

Questions:

Questions are a resource that is the Number One avenue to growth and movement in my mind. Thomas Berger says, “The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.” Questions are the vehicles that allow your inner detective to start its exploration. Bottom line, when you begin to question something and then find the answer, this new information facilitates the change you are looking for.

There are people who have a Questioning Blank Spot. This blank spot is when you experience a fear, such as thinking you might open a can of worms if you start to question your situation. However, consider this: You know how beneficial worms are for the soil!!! The rich soil in this case are your thoughts and feelings planted in your desire to make a change or reach a goal.

When a question starts to form in my mind, my experience is the answer is close and my excitement starts to build.

Questions additionally help:

Set an intention, because they represent a desire to find new information.
Can clarify your values, position, direction, bottom line.
Leads you out of your ruts.
Open doors you hadn’t noticed before.
Change your reactions and behaviors because the questions have given you more clarity in what has been causing those reactions.
Open your mind to new experiences, wisdom, and freedom.
Explore deeper meanings.
Allow aha! moments to show themselves
Strengthens you, guides you, and helps you to make difficult decisions.
Bring answers to the heartfelt anguish life sometimes brings you.
Test your assumptions and beliefs.
Connect you to your God, Higher Power, The Universe, Oneness, or Higher Selves.
Can clarify and heal relationships stuck in circular communication.

When you question yourself and others, you are certain to move forward. Form a question or two and your inner detective will be off and running until your curiosity is satisfied.

The following resource list is alphabetical and, thus, in no particular order of importance. You will find resources that encourage new thinking, resources that are tools, activities to do, and books to read.

Thinking and Feeling Resources:

Friends: My friend, Julia, has been one of the ultimate resources for change in my life. Her questions challenge my thinking and feeling and have led me down many fruitful pathways to clarity. Find a friend who is a questioner. There is a concept that when you share your thoughts and feelings, you empty your mind leaving space for new information. LOL
Pattern Interrupt: When you notice you have a habit or pattern of some behavior you would like to change, a simple pattern interrupt might just do the trick. An example of a pattern interrupt is you’ve decided to use your cell phone less. You decide to place your phone in another room out of sight. Another example is you want to stop going to your favorite ice cream store on your way home. You choose a different route that doesn’t go by the ice cream store. A pattern interrupt can be as simple as saying, “Stop, stop, stop!” when you are about to reach for that candy bar.
Personal Boundaries or Limits: When you take some time and define your boundaries or personal limits, you have a framework to live your life. Thus, begins a means to weigh and measure new information. It becomes a dynamic resource.
Pray for 30 Days for Someone Who Troubles You: An effective way to change your getting lost in someone else’s difficult behavior that is bothering you, really bothering you, is to pray for that person for 30 days. The prayers would be prayers of things you would want for yourself. Everyone I have seen do this have found the negativity dissipate, leave, or develop a new perspective.
Radical Acceptance: Radical Acceptance, by Dr. Tara Brach is the life-changing book. Dr. Brach combines psychology and Buddhist meditation methods. One tool called Pause helped me deal with my negative feelings. Simply put, you stop, acknowledge, and accept whatever feelings are going on for you. Any negative emotions and thoughts which normally would have derailed me in the past lost their power. The inner fight to avoid my negativity left.
Recall Your Spirit or Energy: Many times when a traumatic or difficult experience happens to us, a part of your spirit seems to break off. You lose your natural power and energy. The good and bad news is the mind does this to protect itself. In psychology circles this is called dissociation. However, in spiritual circles such as in Bali there is a special ceremony known as “The Calling”, as well in shamanic practices there are a way to call those broken pieces of your spirit back.
You might want to call your spirit back. Ask for your spirit back—or more accurately—demand your spirit to come back. There are many resources to find out how to do that if you aren’t intuitively led by my thoughts here.
Reframe: This is an effective tool to bring change. When you find a new way to think differently and still be congruent with your identity and values, you have changed the trajectory of your life. This congruency is important because you add to your identity and authenticity in this way.
For example, when a coaching client who struggles with any type of relationship problem, there is a thought that supports change. This thought is to see the other person as someone who doesn’t understand or misunderstands rather than labelling them as having some permanent, toxic character defect. This doesn’t mean have to continue to have a relationship with that, but the energy shifts to one of compassion and forgiveness. This line of thinking opens the possibility of change. You will feel better and they might feel better as well.
People do sense your energy and have reactions toward you on some level even if they are unsure what they are experiencing. Reframing subtly shifts feelings for both people.
Self-Care Break: We often try to push our way through to our goals. Willpower, super focus, determination—go, go, go. However, there is much to be said about how self-care can enlighten and refresh, even increase your energy. When you stop, do some mindfulness check-ins, and even talk to yourself in a loving, nurturing way, it can bring to peace and freedom—a good place to find more of your creativity as well.
Synchronistic Experiences: This is such a subtle resource for change you might not think of it as a vehicle to change. A synchronistic experience is when an idea or concept comes to you from several different people or sources. If you pay attention and acknowledge this as a signal for your attention, you may well find a new line of thinking or a new direction to follow.
A perfect example of synchronicity for me started with a Tony Robbins’ interview with Dr. Wayne Dyer. Tony asked what Dr. Dyer’s considered his favorite book. Dr. Dyer said Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced “chick-SENT-me-high). Dr. Dyer couldn’t pronounce his name either. My respect for Dr. Dyer caused me to note what book he thought was his favorite. Turns out Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is noted for his work in the study of happiness and creativity, but is best known as the originator of the concept of “the flow.”
Shortly after watching that interview, my sister Teri recommended a book on introverts: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. In describing introverts, Cain suggests introverts’ solitary pursuits bring fulfillment within themselves without outside rewards. She used Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s research on “the flow” to describe this aspect of being an introvert.
Then, a little while after that, my friend Beth recommended The Rise of Superman, by Steven Kotler. His book explores how extreme sport athletes get into the flow. He then translates that into how you use this information for yourself. He referenced Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work extensively.
Wow! These experiences are synchronistic messages. Off to my laptop and Amazon my fingers flew and Flow and Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi came in a few days. Turns out, these two books opened further refinement of the definition of coming alive. When you are in the flow, you have consistently come alive. Not only did these synchronistic events enlighten me, they reassured me my books would continue to unfold in valuable ways.
Trust Your Gut or Inner Voice: Yes, this is a resource. Have you ever had a feeling or little voice tell you should do or shouldn’t do something? My personal experience with that little voice is that it pays off handsomely to listen to it. My life goes way easier. Not listening usually bring up another obstacle. Consider giving that little voice your attention.

Tools Resources:

Affirmations, Incantations and Mantras: If you have tried affirmations and they didn’t work, understanding the blank spots you have that could interfere with them.
Affirmations, incantations, and mantras are a means to direct your unconscious that you want to make a change. If you find using them brings up doubts or thoughts that your change might never happen, it’s time to dig a little deeper to see what blank spots are getting in the way.
You may have a blank spot about over-thinking or over-analyzing what you want or you may have trouble with self-esteem, doubts, or failure—maybe even all of them. When any of these feeling come up, think of them as signals to investigate them more to free yourself of underlying obstacles. Affirmations that come from your self-loving, confident heart and feelings will help you make and maintain changes.
One additional thought: Work you do with affirmations, mantras, or incantations that are done with strong emotion especially helps rewire your thinking or release blank spots quicker.
Apps, Lists & Reminders: My husband, Lance, bought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas years ago. Oh my, what fun! My Kindle opened a new world for me. These days, along with my current smartphone, there are many useful and powerful apps that supported my change process. There are to-do lists, journals, even a place for notes plus so many more useful apps.
There’s truly an app for everything. Apps can be instrumental in making changes in your lives. They remind you of what you want to stay focused on related to your goals. They record your progress. They give you positive thoughts to keep your spirits high.
Since one of my biggest blank spots came from an old fear of stopping consequently overworking to distract myself interfered with my life in many levels, discovering an app that tells me to STOP for a few moments created a light-hearted reminder—a stern military-type voice says, “STOP. And that’s an order!” Every time it makes me giggle and stop.
Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils from plants for healing. They are inhaled, massaged onto the skin, or some are taken orally. Do you have a favorite flower that calms and changes your mood? In those moments of calmness, you are more open to new information on how to move forward. This is how aromatherapy works.
Bioenergetics: Bioenergetics is a system of physical and psychological therapy that increases well-being by releasing blocked physical and psychic energy (as defined by Merriam-Webster). Bioenergetics suggests that your body holds feelings that hinder your progress.
Discovering Bioenergetic through my teacher, Nick Rave, led me to a profound aha! moment. The fat surrounding my body took on a whole new meaning. To let go of unproductive emotions and thinking related to my body fat turned out to free my view of my body on a whole new level. A new physical world opened for me.
Body/Energy Work: In alternative medicine, bodyworkis any therapeutic or personal development technique that involves work with the human Some forms of bodywork are massage therapy, Rolfing, chiropractic, acupuncture, reflexology, shiatsu, craniosacral therapy, reiki, breath work, and a few more. My experience is with massage therapy, reiki, craniosacral therapy, reflexology, and acupuncture. All of them have been led me to healing experiences.
Candles: Lighting a candle is seen as a renewing. Lighting candles is often used in rituals to unblock emotions and relationships. A candles flame is considered a metaphor for the soul—it can bring tranquility. The colors of the candles can change their vibration. Find a candle that represents what you want healing in.
Coaching: There are many types of coaches who specialize in areas from health, relationships, spirituality, career or business, personal evolvement, and manifesting. You name it, there’s a coach for it. This is a good thing because coaches tend to coach in areas where they have personal experience. They know the ropes and the ways out. My coaching is directly related to coming alive because my life used to be lost in blank spots and my way out of those blanks spots has been a real gift to share.
Colors: Colors affect us. Because of this, colors are powerful tools that support you towards manifesting your dreams. Do some research on colors to support your journey.
My healing experience with color came during a difficult time in a job. My boss became a challenge to deal with. That came with unbearable stress. My intention to reduce the stress started with bringing in some calming colors and pictures into my office. A clock with green and white waterfalls on it was especially soothing. My stress level went way down and the situation eventually worked out between us.
Crystals: Records on the use of crystals in healing have been dated back 6,000 years. Practitioners attribute healing and energetic properties to crystals that can amplify and raise your vibration. If you have an affinity for crystals, entertain talking to a crystal practitioner or lightworker might be helpful in your Come Alive journey.
Dreams: Many people receive helpful results from exploration of their dreams. My dreams have given me insights with what is going on in my life. A friend of mine had a dream that clearly told her she needed to get back to her creative side. She took her dream’s directions and felt much better.
There are many books out there on dream interpretation. Understand Your Dreams, by Alice Anne Parker, is my personal go-to book to check out my dreams. Her interpretations have resonated with me.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique): This is also known Tapping. EFT is a healing technique that uses tapping on acupuncture points in conjunction with conventional cognitive emotional release methods. Tapping has proven a valid method for healing physical and emotional issues.
EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)is a phased, focused approach to treating traumatic and other symptoms by reconnecting a client in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allowing the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution.
Hypnosis: My background includes training in hypnosis. Knowing more of about how the mind works and unconscious blank spots, hypnosis is clearly a valuable tool to explore blank spots. See Neuro-Linguistic Programming & Hypnosis.
Journaling: Journaling has been a positive, enlightening practice for me. Many, many times, when feeling off, upset, or lost in my life, sitting down and pouring my heart into my journal brings clarity. Journaling has proven to be a tool that brought many an aha! moment.
In recent times, my journaling turned to magic. My magical journal contains gratitude, dreams, and goals. Such mental focus in my journaling becomes reality.
For those of you who get stuck on what to write, start to write whatever thoughts and feelings come to mind, even such thoughts as, “I don’t know what to write.” If your mind is confused, if you keep writing you could find your feelings start to appear and you will be able to see what is at the bottom of what troubles you.
Massage Therapy: Massage therapy is manual manipulation of soft body tissues to enhance a person’s health and well-being. Massage helps you on many levels, from letting go of stress, loosening tight muscles, and even through emotional release when you are more relaxed. (See Bodywork also.)
Neuro-Linguistic Programming & Hypnosis: My Neuro-Linguistic Programming teacher, Dr. Matt James of The Empowerment Partners, uses hypnosis and a NLP technique he developed called MER® to access unconscious thinking that is an obstacle to coming alive. If he ever teaches classes in your area, please consider them. Dr. James provides a major step forward in your growth and how to get results you want because you learn how the mind works. Check him out at NLP.com
Prayer: Prayer has been a comforting resource for me. Once, at a time in my life when several family members were stuck in some difficult emotional holes and I felt powerless to do anything to help, prayer seemed to be the only possibility. My prayers felt supportive from a distance. Some significant changes did happen which made me happy to have spent some prayer time for those involved.
Prayer Beads or Worry Beads: Prayer beads are used by members of various religious traditions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Sikhism and the Baha’i Faith to mark the repetitions of prayers, chants, or devotions. They too are a source of change because they keep you focused on positive thoughts. Worry beads or kompoloi beads do not have any religious connection.
Once, during a difficult time for a family member, I used a beaded bracelet like prayer beads with a prayer for each bead. It gave me comfort and felt supportive to that family member.
Psychic or Channel: Yes, there are some psychics and people who channel who have legitimate skills. They can be useful on many different levels in your journey to change. Find one you are comfortable with and ask the questions you want answers to. You could be surprised to find the personal obstacles that stand in your way.
Most of you are intuitive. Maybe you aren’t at the level of a psychic, but your intuitive nature is useful nevertheless. Once you start to listen to that inner voice that acknowledges such information as aha! moments, you have tapped into your intuitive nature. Trust it.
Self-Talk and Self-Talk Recording: A book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Dr. Shad Helmstetter, taught me that your self-talk manifests or hinders your dreams. While reading this book, an idea struck me to make a self-talk recording. Maybe, this recording will change my inner dialog. That dialog tended to be more negative than positive at the time.
My first step would be to write a script to record. Included in the script were my core issues and distractions reframed into positive affirmations and visualizations. The second step led me to record myself reading the script along with my favorite music in the background. All day long my ear buds would be in my ears and listening to my recording at every opportunity. My experience with this technique was amazing. Each new self-talk recording created a major movement in my growth and more awareness unfolded. My theory of the successful effectiveness of my self-talk recording is that the recording was in my own voice that I trusted.
Singing Bowls, Drums, Digeridoos, and Bells: These instruments produce moments of disconnection from your mental world and connection to your inner, feeling world. Listening to a singing bowl for the first time led me to experience a beautiful vision of my life. Just like colors, musical instruments affect your energy.
Therapy: In my research on the different types of therapy available, over 150 types came up. Some of them are familiar: Cognitive Therapy, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, Journal Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Art Therapy, Music Therapy, and many, many more.
Therapy is an opportunity to explore your inner world, get new perspectives, affirm you are moving in the right direction, and learn how to manage challenges or conflicts in your life.
If you think counseling might be useful, pick a counselor that resonates with your lifestyle and belief system. Also, find one who will give you open feedback.

Activity Resources:

Breathing: There is much evidence out there that deep breathing is a great stress reliever. Dr. Andrew Weil, MD, says, “Breathing is the bridge between mind and body, the connection between consciousness and unconsciousness, the movement of spirit in matter. Breath is the key to health and wellness, a function which will lead you to regulating and developing improvement your physical, mental and spiritual well-being.”
One time, after a wonderful foot massage—reflexology—I found myself breathing deeper as if some tightness in my chest. I knew I had been stressed, but had no idea how the stress had affected my breathing.
Breathing is what I tell my clients when they feel panicky or upset. Breathing calms them down.
Chakra Work: There is a belief system that you have seven energy centers in your body. There are people trained to help you learn where your energy is low and how to cleanse and balance your chakras. When your energy is balanced, your ability to grow and come alive are enhanced. Here is a summary of the chakras and their related energy:
1. Root Chakra is found at the base of the spine and is represented by the color red. This chakra is related to your physical body, survival, the material world, and grounding.
2. Sacral Chakra is in the abdominal area and is represented by orange. Sacral chakra is associated with relationships, sexuality, creativity, and self-worth.
3. Solar Plexus is found at your solar plexus and is represented by yellow. This chakra is related to personal power, confidence, social identity, happiness, and will.
4. Heart Chakra is situated in the heart area and is represented by green. The heart chakra is about love, relationships, trust, hope, openness, and compassion.
5. Throat Chakra is found in the throat area and is represented by blue. This chakra is related to communication, personal truth, expression, listening, and speaking.
6. Third Eye Chakra is in the brow area. It is represented by the color indigo and is about psychic ability, intuition, visions, and connection to higher self.
7. Crown Chakra is situated on the crown or top of the head and is represented by the color violet. This chakra is associated universal consciousness, cosmic or Divine connection, the Source, and enlightenment.
Coloring Books: This is a big trend these days. Coloring books are now used for stress relief. There are even apps to color. Coloring books put your mind in creative mode and help you calm that racing mind of yours.
Finding ways to bring yourself back to your real, balanced self is a general prerequisite to coming alive.
Dance: Ever read, Sweat Your Prayers by Gabrielle Roth? She uses dance to produce personal and spiritual development. There are classes out there that use Gabrielle’s music. My experience in such a class opened my body, mind, and spirit in a beautiful way as if I had a vision of my best, happy self.
Dancing is more than physical. Dancing accesses your emotions as well. Dancing is one of the many bioenergetic exercises that help you release your hidden feelings. Your feelings wait in your body for you to find them. If you are drawn to dance, dance away your mental blocks and unresolved feelings.
Experiential Exercises: The most effective kind of exercises are those that give you experience. The exercises in this book are an opportunity to experience your journey to uncover, understand, and release your blank spots. Albert Einstein said, “The only source of knowledge is experience.” Experience is the best way to make what you learn practical. Look for exercises and techniques that empower your through experience.
Focusing: There is a book by Ann Weiser Cornell called The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. She teaches you how to talk to your body and get feedback. This technique opened some useful insights for me.
Labyrinth: Many people who have walked a labyrinth have had deep, meaningful experiences. If you are open to finding a new way to experience change, this might be useful for you.
Meditation and Relaxation: Meditation and relaxation exercises didn’t work for me at first. After experiencing a “dark night of the soul”, understanding came. One of my core unconscious blank spots involved a fear of stopping. Meditation and relaxation require stopping, don’t they? That explains why mediation, even a type of relaxing meditation, had been difficult for me.
There are many, many forms of meditation . . . candle gazing, chanting, sun gazing, and many more. In Jon Kabbat-Zinn’s book, “Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life” he explores many, many types of meditations. If you would like a resource for different types of meditation, you will be able to find them in his book.
Did you know meditation can be accomplished in a walk or focusing on a quote or passage? Those two appealed to this mind-active woman.
Physical Exercise: One way to shift your energy and feel physically well is to exercise. Walking or running in a beautiful area recharges your batteries. Working out and feeling physically strong adds confidence. Plus, increased blood flow enhances your mental abilities.
Rituals: Rituals are a method to support your success in your goals, heal your pain, and get in touch with your feelings. There are many rituals out there or you could create your own, which are the best. In troubled times, a ritual of lighting a candle and saying a positive prayer for my concern always felt healing.
Yoga: This is an Indian physical, mental, spiritual practice and discipline. Yoga helps you become aware of your inner rhythm as well as increases your physical fitness. Yoga is a means to work toward a holistic view of your life.

Study Resources:

Bible or Religious Literature: Sometimes opening the Bible or some inspired spiritual book and putting your finger on a verse or sentence brings you to an aha! moment. My finger often lands on a verse that touches me deeply, giving me what my heart loves to hear. Your religion will have its own literature or any inspirational book will work as well.
Books: As a confirmed researcher, books are my main source of information to create and sustain change. Audio books are wonderful, especially if you drive a lot.
Internet: A question will come to my mind and immediately my fingers are typing in Google. Google feeds my need for instant gratification.
Inventory: An honest inventory of your life is a real eye-opener. When you listen to yourself answer the inventory questions, you could hear some of those blank spots in your way of getting results with your goals. You’ll find various types of inventory instruments on internet search engines.
Support Groups: Support groups bring a sense of community with people who share your same struggle. There are support groups for any area you want to sort out for yourself. One of the reasons support groups are helpful is because you connect with others who relate to your situation who are interested in healing too. Together you explore new thoughts and feelings that connection brings.
The 7 Day Mental Diet: This is a pamphlet by Emmet Fox that could change your life in a week. Emmet Fox challenges you to go an entire week without entertaining any negative thoughts. He claims this “diet” may be the most difficult exercise you have ever done, yet the most life-changing. Are you ready for such a challenge?
You Tube, CDs, and DVDs: If books don’t appeal to you, there are other mediums to find any subject to support your coming alive.

Questions for Reflection:

Are you a questioner, or do you go with the flow?
What resources do you use to bring balance and growth in your life?
Did you find any of the above resources interesting?
Did you reject any of the resources? Do you know why, or is tapping into that resource perhaps a blank spot for you?
With this long list of resources, do you see there are many ways to grow and move?
What feelings came up when you read this chapter?

Summary

Here is a bold statement: To transform your life so you get results every time you set a goal, change your state of mind and strategy. The key word is change. These resources are ways to experience new strategies and states of mind.