How Important Are Your Feelings?
There’s a personality trait, sometimes viewed as a subclinical condition, called alexithymia, which is characterized by an inability to recognize, identify and describe your own emotions. … most people have never heard of alexithymia.
No, I’m not going clinical on you. Instead, I’m going to give you some tips on checking out where you are with your feelings and how you can become emotionally strong. Feeling all your feelings—good, bad, or indifferent—and knowing what to do with them is one of the components of coming alive—becoming emotionally strong.
Where Are You with Your Feelings?
Here is a checklist to assess your feeling nature. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you agree with these statements, 1 being not at all and 10 being 100% agree:
- When I have negative feelings such as anger, resentment, jealousy, etc. I know those feelings are really my mind trying to give me a positive message to make some changes or understand something new 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- When someone says or does something that causes me to feel put down or defensive, I know it’s past baggage showing up and an opportunity to release it. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I have reached a point where I can feel all my feelings without trying to avoid them or fight them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I can manage difficult feelings without numbing them or comforting myself with food, alcohol, drugs or distractions such as overworking, never relaxing or having fun. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am supportive when someone around me is emotional without trying to fix or change them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am authentic because I can express my thoughts and feelings respectfully and constructively. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I know if I don’t express my feelings, it can cause me to lose my peace of mind. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I believe strong emotional health will support my physical well-being. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- It is important for me to express my feelings in a relationship because it is the way we get to know each other better.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 - In understanding my own feelings, I have more compassion and empathy for others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10.
Here is an interpretation of the results:
0-20 You may experience reactions or freak-outs and not know why they are so intense.
21-40 You may find ways to distract yourself when you start to feel emotions such as overworking, eating, drinking, or drugs.
41-60 You may stop yourself from feeling emotions and try to logically figure everything out.
61-80 You feel some of your feelings but still have moments when you find your mind racing over problems or conflicts.
81-100 You have a grasp of how all feelings are a pathway to new understanding and change and find yourself leaning into the learning of your challenges.
The bottom line is—wherever you are on the scale, it is valuable to understand your feelings because you then will have a balance with your feelings and thoughts. This balance gives you both direction and motivation to go wherever you want to go.
How Do You Become Emotionally Strong?
Do you know what it is like to feel these basic feelings? Take a few moments and go through the list and see if you can call on those feelings.
- Happy
- Joyful
- Content
- Silly
- Sad
- Angry
- Scared
- Worried
- Confused
- Surprised
- Hurt
- Embarrassed
Whenever I feel overwhelmed or life has become disordered, the way back to my overall peace and a sense of balance is when I stop and journal or reflect on what I’m feeling and what may have triggered it. In this process I discover new insights, grow a bit more, and find a solution to move on.
This is what I encourage you to do. People sometimes do spontaneous drawings, create treasure maps, or have a personal solution finding process. Whatever works for you to welcome every one of your feelings and learn something new leads you to that important emotional strength.
So, in answer to the question, “How important are your feelings”? The answer is feelings are equal to your body, mind, and spirit. Without your feelings you don’t have the magic formula of coming alive!
