Find Your Voice and Be Heard
Ever fall silent when you want to respond to someone, yet your mind and heart are wanting to yell, “Listen to me, I’m needing to be heard?
There was a time when I would write a script and call someone to tell them what I needed. I was so afraid they might get angry or think I’m putting them down in some way.
Sometimes I never got through my script because the conversation just started to flow well enough to feel I was heard.
Sometimes they would make a point that changed my whole perspective and I didn’t need to go any further.
Always though, the very act of reaching out to express myself calmly and respectfully started to build my confidence in speaking my truth.
I was finding my voice. There are several reasons you, too, might hesitate to speak up for yourself:
- You are concerned you will hurt their feelings.
- You are afraid they might get angry.
- You feel so emotional about the issue and not sure you can speak without the emotion.
- You feel like you are being mean to them.
- You think they can get into having to be right all the time.
However, the benefit of finding your voice is you are creating a foundation of good communication. Even more valuable in finding your voice is that it’s a big part of learning to be your true self—your authentic self.
Here are three things to remember in learning to gain confidence with your voice:
- Self-Empathy – Connect with having empathy and compassion of your inner experience. It is real.
- Empathy – The ability to listen to another person with openness and compassion.
- Honest Self-Expression – The ability to express yourself truthfully.
Here are a few of my additional encouragements:
- Find a respectful, even structured way, if necessary, to talk to each other on important issues you want to be heard on. Agree on this process ahead of a conflict.
- As you talk, paraphrase what the other one has said. Both parties will be assured you have heard what was said.
- Agree on what issues must be worked out. Then take them one at a time.
- Sit face to face. Stay calm. Be willing to accept and acknowledge your part and your responsibility for the problem. It is that openness that keeps the communication moving.
Did you gain a new perspective on communication in this piece? Let me know what you feel about these thoughts?
