Do You Need Some Attention?
What is underneath a Need for Attention?
One of the greatest needs people have is to feel they make an impact on others. If you struggle with low self-esteem or feeling unworthy, you may be feel like no one sees your value or your special talents or skills. You may not even see them yourself. If, however, you find yourself wanting attention there may be a part of you that is trying to heal an old baggage issue that causes the self-esteem and worthiness issues.
Recently, I saw the trajectory of how my life’s experiences had been driven by an old core issue—fear of rejection. Mostly, that trajectory centered around me reaching out for attention. However, getting attention never satisfied the hole in my heart created by feeling rejected in my early life.
Different Levels of Attention
Needing attention is not a bad thing. It is life affirming to feel others’ value or desire to be with you. Let’s talk about a few levels of attention-getting that might require some reflection:
- Wanting the kind of attention that is a near worship—meaning attention from others who never disagree or question.
- Wanting the kind of attention that is complaining or venting that circles around and around and never seems to end.
- The kind of attention such as being silly, telling jokes, being dramatic, or other attention-getting behaviors as a distraction from real troubles.
- The kind of attention that is a “poor me” I need your help that becomes a way of life.
How Can You Tell if Your Need for Attention May be Troublesome?
- When that need doesn’t seem to go away.
- You feel like a victim—people aren’t supporting you.
- You think others aren’t listening to you.
- You start to feel abandoned.
How Do You Let Go of a Troublesome Need for Attention?
I believe self-care activities are the best antidote to all the feelings that come up from the need to find attention. Here are some self-care ideas:
- Learn some basic yoga poses—find connection to your body.
- Create a special tea and sit soaking in a sense of relaxation.
- Build a playlist of music that warms your heart.
- Find ways to be more mindful—eat a favorite fruit savoring its texture, taste and how it feels as you pick it up.
- Look at your partner and see his or her features-their hair, chin, ears, lips, etc.
- Watch comedy that makes you laugh and laugh and laugh.
- Breathe deeply.
- Learn to meditate.
- Start a book club.
- Have a ladies or guys night out.
