Are You Devastated When You Make a Mistake?

Just What is a Mistake?

Here’s how Merriam Webster defines mistake:

1. to blunder in the choice of
2. to misunderstand the meaning or intention of
3. to make a wrong judgment of the character or ability of
4. to identify wrongly, confuse with another

Here’s what Merriam Webster doesn’t say:

1. If your perception of a mistake is judgmental about your worthiness or intelligence, you may be devastated.
2. If your perception of a mistake is you either didn’t understand or don’t have enough information, you may level up from the learning.
3. The same perceptions hold true when you see others making mistakes and you judge them.

Where Are You with Your Definition of a Mistake?

Please stop for a moment and ask yourself how you react when you find out you’ve made a mistake?

• Do you laugh at your humanness?
• Do you feel humiliated and want to hide?
• Do you get defensive?

Wherever you are with these questions, here is an explanation of how we form our reactions.

As children, you don’t have the language or the concepts to process what is going on around you. If there is dysfunction, abuse, and even pretty healthy interactions in your family, you might have formed messages that will hinder you in the future from lack of understanding or misunderstanding. Those messages eventually become unconscious.

Those very messages can be triggered by current events and get in the way of moving forward. When you react to making a mistake in a negative manner, you may have just brought up some old baggage—or blank spots as I call those unconscious messages.

How to Deal with Making a Mistake?

First, let’s focus on some possible reframed thoughts that may be useful. See if any of them resonate with you. If they do, focus on them until the old reactions start to fade.

• I’ve learned something so I can avoid making that mistake again. This is good.
• There is a way I can turn this into something positive.
• Mistakes will happen even when we are doing our best.
• I can own the mistake and move forward no matter the consequences.
• What was I thinking or feeling at the time I made that mistake? Knowing that will teach me something useful.
• How can I show my leadership and wisdom in working through this mistake?
• It was an honest mistake; it wasn’t on purpose. Knowing this helps to move on.
• I’m glad I have friends who will support me through this.
• I can forgive myself and I can find a way to make this right.

How do you Make a Mistake Right?

This is a good question to ask yourself. Sometimes you can’t make it right and trust will need to be rebuilt. Sometimes it offers you an opportunity to show your true courage and authenticity.

However, if you move to a focus of wanting to learn from your mistake experiences and do your best to make it right, you will master this occasional human experience of making mistakes. It is great life skills to learn.